Man breaks into adult toy shop for sex with dolls

In a report from Australia, a man smashed into an adult toy shop and had sex with the blow-up dolls before abandoning them in an alley.

Business owners in Cairns believe the same culprit is responsible for the break-ins and cash register thefts at the Sapphire Bar as well as three break-ins at the Laneway Adult Shop in recent days.  He reportedly would smash through walls and squeeze through tight areas (the original report said “tight holes” but I wasn’t going there).

The owner of the adult shop, who wished to be named only as Vogue, said that in a first unreported break-in, the man had stolen five dolls and had sex with one of them.

“He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley,” he said.  “It is totally bizarre.  It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street.”

Vogue said a sex toy also went missing in the second break-in and that the offender had a liking for the doll model named “Jungle Jane,” which had been taken on both occasions.  He said he was dumbfounded that the burglar also had the “weird” habit of cleaning up the mess he had made after entering the building.  The burglar again smashed through a wall in the roof area of the shop earlier this week but was scared off by a newly installed alarm system.

Vogue and David Sharman, the owner of the Sapphire Bar that has an entry (original report stated it’s a “rear entry” but, once again, I try to remain tasteful) in the same alley as the adult shop, both believe they have been targeted by the same thief.  Both men said fleeting video images showed the burglar as being a tall, skinny Caucasian.  He has left DNA evidence at the crime scene.  No kidding….

Mr Sharman said in regards to one break-in at his business:  “The burglar smashed a hole near the top of the roof line. He then clambered 15m down a sheer wall.  He (only) took the surveillance recorders – we found them in the bin.”

Pennsylvania family has unwelcome Christmas guest

Talk about a creepy visitor on Christmas — and I’m not referring to Santa Claus….

A Plains Township, Penn., family didn’t know they had a squatter in their attic until local police and their K-9 officer located a man in their home.  Stanley Carter, 21, was charged with criminal trespass, several counts of burglary, theft, and receiving stolen property.

Carter had reportedly been staying with friends in the shared duplex when they asked him to leave.  The friends then filed a missing persons report a few days before Christmas after he went missing December 19th.  He accessed the shared attic space through a trap door.

Stacy Ferrance, owner of the home, said that Carter came out of his hiding space wearing her daughter’s pants and her sweatshirt and shoes.  Ferrance notified the police when a laptop, iPod, and cash were found missing on Christmas Day.  She called again the next day after finding footprints in her closet — the location of the other trap door leading to the attic.

Carter kept a list of everything he had pilfered from Ferrance’s home and even labeled it “Stanley’s Christmas List” in order to log all the items he “donated” to himself.  Police found the list as they were going through the inventory of what he took.

Ferrance said she had heard noises but thought they were caused by her children.  “From what I gather, he was helping himself to my home, eating my food, and stealing my clothes,” she said.

Port St. Lucie makes crime news again with flushed gun

What is up with Port St. Lucie, Florida??  I’ve already blogged on two sandwich assaults from there.  Now, a criminal has been arrested after the detective interviewing him wasn’t able to get a toilet to flush.

No….it wasn’t the detective’s fault that the commode wasn’t operating properly.  He was investigating the theft of a handgun, cash and jewelry from a Jensen Beach, Fla., home.  The 21-year-old suspect was staying in a Port St. Lucie hotel where the detective met with him.

Obviously forgetting where he hid some of his stash, the suspect allowed the detective to use the restroom.  When the toilet wouldn’t flush, he removed the cover from the tank and found the stolen handgun and three loaded magazines.   The suspect was charged December 22 with grand theft and grand theft of a firearm.

So, again, I ask what is it with Port St. Lucie?  Is it really a haven for stupid criminals?  Or, is it simply the unlucky victim of the press that seems to be able to highlight the inane acts of its citizens and passers-through?  Whatever the situation, I daresay that the city’s Convention and Visitors’ Bureau will probably have an uphill climb if things don’t change.

Bank robber uses pay stub as hold-up note

I’m not sure if it’s more a sign of the bad economic times or just another example of how stupid people can be.  Last Friday a Fifth Third Bank in Chicago was held-up and the robber escaped with only $400.  The note used simply stated, “Be Quick Be Quit [sic].  Give your cash or I’ll shoot.”  Okay, maybe he was nervous and didn’t notice the spelling error…. but that’s not the dumbest part of this story.

The accused robber, who was arrested in his Cary, Ill., home was easily tracked.  How?  Well, he use his October pay stub to write the note.  Half of it was left with the teller; the other half was found outside the bank’s front doors.  And, as with most pay stubs, it had his name and address clearly listed.

Money and the desire for more will make people do stupid things.  However, I’m not quite convinced that the stupidity shown in this instance could be solely blamed on it.  And I certainly wouldn’t consider this even remotely close to being the “heist of the century.”  Remember….proper planning prevents poor performance!

Ron Jeremy and pepper spray? TMZ got the story wrong, he says.

This past week, gossip site TMZ reported that porn granddaddy Ron Jeremy casually ate his dinner at Mel’s Diner on the Sunset Strip after a paparazzo attempted to snap pictures and then pepper sprayed a companion of Ron’s who objected to the photos.

In TMZ’s report, photographer Nasim Saleh began taking the pictures when a friend stood up to stop him and the spraying ensued.  Saleh stated he was only acting in self-defense and was arrested for criminal use of tear gas.  TMZ further reported that Saleh had told authorities that he was a photographer for TMZ, which they denied.

However, Jeremy has stated that TMZ got the facts of the story wrong.  He states that he and Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, were inside eating and didn’t even know what was happening outside.  Jeremy said in an interview with Adult Video News:

“[Saleh] sent someone into the diner to ask if we’d do interviews and we said, ‘No problem!  We’d be glad to when we get out.  So someone was rude to the guy and said, ‘Get lost, they don’t want to bother with you.’  We never said that.  Someone just thought that we didn’t want to get bothered.  This is not Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears.  We like attention.”

Jeremy also stated that Saleh may have been acting in self-defense as witnesses claim that someone attempting to shoo him from the premises did so while threatening him with a knife.

The biggest laughs, however, came from Jeremy when he read the “punchline” of TMZ’s story, “….we’re told during the incident, Ron Jeremy just kept eating.”

Jeremy, however, gloated over the gaff and even found it humorous that Hof didn’t even rate a mention in the article:

“Six seasons of HBO’s ‘Cathouse’ and they didn’t even put Dennis Hof’s name in there — he didn’t even exist.  It was Ron Jeremy and a pastrami sandwich, not Dennis and his bowl of soup.  So I want to rub that in his face every chance I get.  It bothered him; he didn’t act like it did, but it did.”

Don’t worry Hof….the world knows now….

Second sandwich assault in Florida

Once again, Port St. Lucie, Fla., becomes headline news as a second man is charged with assualt after attacking a woman with a sandwich.

In this incident, the 20-year-old suspect threw a sandwich at his girlfriend’s face while they argued about automobile insurance.  He then reportedly hit her in the head with his fist.  The man has admitted to tossing the food product but denies actual physical contact with the woman.  He was arrested last Friday.

No reports on the type of sandwich have been made available by authorities.

Child’s letter to Santa uncovers pedophile

In Pharr, Texas, many elementary children participated in an annual custom and gave their teachers letters to be mailed to Santa Claus.  As usual, many want the latest toys, clothes, and perhaps something very dear to them.  For one 9-year-old girl, she just wanted a relative to stop touching her and her sister.

The girl’s teacher gave the letter to the school counselor who alerted authorities.  Police interviewed the girl and the man was arrested last Friday and is currently in the Hidalgo County Jail.  Reportedly, the abuse occurred over a period of four years.

With a charge of continuous sexual abuse of a young child, the relative could face up to 99 years in prison if convicted.

Yes, dear….there is a Santa Claus.  Your letter was read and Santa answered it.  With time and help from responsible, caring adults, hopefully all the rest of your Christmases will be bright.  And with any luck, your abuser will get what he deserves — and it won’t be just coal in his stocking.

Assault with a not-so-deadly cheesburger

A Vero Beach, Florida, man is accused of assaulting his girlfriend with a McDonald’s cheeseburger.

Vincent Gonzalez has been charged with battery domestic violence and was still behind bars this past Wednesday.  His bail was set at $1,000.

Gonzalez is accused of forcing the cheeseburger in question into the face if his girlfriend after they had argued in a car and he would not let her leave.  The girlfriend became angry and threw Gonzalez’s soda out of the window, igniting the….um….brawl?  Gonzalez reportedly grabbed her arm before forcefully introducing the sandwich into her face.  Both parties then exited the vehicle where Gonzales again….attacked?….his girlfriend with the McMeat product….

I’m sorry, readers.  I can’t help laughing at this.  Don’t get me wrong — I certainly do not condone or advocate violence against women.  I don’t advocate violence against anyone.  But I’ll bet the police were having just as much trouble not giggling through the arrest report when trying to identify the weapon used.  To what is this world coming?

String him up! Babysitter uses child in porn film.

This is almost too disgusting for words!!  A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to using a child in a porn film after answering an online ad for babysitting services.

Aaron J. Lemon admitted this past Wednesday to producing the video.  Police state that this scumbag used Craigslist to answer a legitimate ad requesting a babysitter and coerced a 2-year-old girl into explicit acts.  He faces a maximum of 30 years in prison.

That’s all??  A predator like this faces only up to 30 years??

This is part of what really, really disgusts me about people.  This man explicity used an online resource to seek out a victim who couldn’t possibly begin to give any type of consent, much less the fact that it’s completely illegal!  Not to mention absolutely disgusting.  Many predators try to excuse their actions because they say the victim “told them it was okay” and understood what was happening or they “wanted it to happen.”  But to seek out a 2-year-old???

String him up!  And you can guess which part I’d like the rope around….  Our children need to be protected from perverts like this.  Many, many thanks go out to the police and U.S. Attorney’s office who stated that Lemon was caught through a project that encourages agencies to investigate sexual exploitation of children over the Internet.

This is a time where my usual rant of parental responsibility and ensuring your children are safe isn’t warranted.  The parents hired a babysitter on the premise that he was going to actually do his job, not molest their child.  Maybe they could have requested more references and/or background checks.  And maybe they did and this guy passed them all.  The bottom line is he sought-out his victim.  He is the one who filmed it.  And he is the one responsible for all of this.  We need more people making sure these sickos don’t harm any more kids.

New meaning to “God in the driver’s seat”

In San Antonio, TX, a man said God told him to ram his truck into another vehicle at 100 mph.

I know people usually invoke the name of some deity or another when suffering from road rage, but isn’t this ridiculous?

When interviewed by the police, the man said that God told him the other driver “wasn’t driving right” and that she needed “to be taken off the road.”  Amazingly, neither the driver nor the victim were seriously hurt.

No drugs or alcohol were found with either driver.  A psychiatric exam has been ordered for the gentleman.  Sounds like a good idea to me!